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Customer Reviews
PART NUMBER: LU081
CUSTOMER RATING: 5

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 Blues Woman
All right, let me give you a little background. It all started when my girlfriend of three years left me for my best friend. A week later I lost my job. That part really wouldn’t have bothered me if Jenny hadn’t left. But it was really the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. I went from listening to hard rock to the blues. My buds told me my life had the making for a country music song, but hell, no matter how desperate I was, depressed, alone, whatever there was no way I was going to listen to that. Same cords over and over again. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t hold anything against they folks that do listen to it. To each his own I guess. But I found the blues and immediately fell in love with it. The feel of it completely described the slump I was in. The music made it easy to forget your our problems and move into someone else’s. Like living in someone else’s shoes for the six or so minutes of the song.  ...read the rest!
 
 Morning Roomie
I smacked the alarm clock hard, I didn’t remember if I set it or not. God, another early morning and cold as hell. I didn’t want to get out of my nice cozy bed. I cracked open one eye and tried to see what time it actually was before I woke up completely. I am one of those types that think that the extra fifteen minutes of sleep would actually do me some good. It was almost seven am and definitely time to get up. I slowly got out of bed, dreading the fact I had to leave my warm cocoon. I stood up and stretched, my t-shirt rose up letting the cool air touch my skin. I wandered into the kitchen and found Nina waiting for the coffee pot to finish brewing. “Morning roomie.” She said not so bright eyed. “Morning babe, sleep well?” She nodded. She was always up this early, even on the weekends. She made me sick.  ...read the rest!
 
 Hunting Desire
For the past six years, ever since I’ve been certified to hunt, Tom and I would drive up to the cabin on the day after Thanksgiving and stay on until the following Tuesday. Sometimes we’d get ourselves a deer, sometimes we wouldn’t but that weren’t hardly the point. As much as we both liked hunting, I think it was mostly just time for us to be together as brothers that was important. When Tom told me that his new wife Kate was coming along this year, it set me back a bit. Our cabin ain’t exactly what you’d call spacious or even close to modern. It’s just a ramshackle thing thrown together on a patch of woods. It wasn’t really built with womenfolk in mind. Heck, it didn’t even have indoor plumbing. We had to haul water in and haul ourselves out to the outhouse for relief. I figured a city girl would head back home after the first night, if not before. Looking back, I’m sure glad she didn’t.  ...read the rest!
 
 Empty Nest
Despite the fact I’d driven her to the college and helped her get settled into her freshman dorm room, I couldn’t believe that Kaitlin was gone. Ever since Mark and I divorced, over ten years ago, my life had built solely around taking care of my daughter. Sure, I tried dating a few times but none of those guys lasted very long. Every time I’d go out, I’d feel guilty about leaving my little girl back home. Only now, I guess, she wasn’t so little. She was sleeping under a different roof, in her dorm. I was wide-awake, pacing an empty house in my nightgown.  ...read the rest!
 
 Museum Romp
As I followed her through the museum I couldn’t help but stare at her. She was absolutely gorgeous. She could easily been a part of the museum and no one would think twice. We entered the ‘racy’ section of the museum. There have been several attempts to close it down, calling it pornography, lucidious and other ridiculous views. I admit I am not a huge fan of art. I mean, I like it and all but I don’t drool over stuff. There are displays that make me think about sex and before I know it, I’m horny. It doesn’t help that I’m always following her through there and staring at her hips sway back and forth as she walks. Her sultry voice filling the hallways, as she tells the tourists a little bit about each piece.  ...read the rest!
 

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Bachelorette Items
Cocksicle Watermelon
ACS893 - Circumcise it then you suck out the juicy fluidFreeze it then squeeze this penis shaped freezer pop. In order to enjoy its flavor you first circumcise it then you suck out the juicy fluid. These pops come in Blue Raspberry (ASC892), Strawberry (ASC891), Watermelon , Grape(ASC894),and Pina Colada (ASC896) flavors. The Cocksicle makes a great Bachelorette Party snack and an even better source of humor. Order consists of 1 Watermelon Cocksicle.
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